The Power of Kindness
The simple act of giving a compliment may seem trivial, but its impact can be profound and long-lasting. This notion is well illustrated by a New York Times article describing an encounter at a diner in Brooklyn. A woman, after enjoying the playful antics of another customer entertaining children, expressed her gratitude for the laughter he brought to her, especially as she was mourning the recent loss of her husband. This moment highlights the significance of giving and receiving compliments—a theme that resonates deeply within the realm of mental well-being and therapeutic practices.
Compliments are positive affirmations that can boost one’s mood, reinforce social bonds, and foster a sense of community and connection. According to social psychologist Erica Boothby of the Wharton School at the University of Pennsylvania, people often hesitate to give compliments, worrying about being perceived as insincere or causing awkwardness. However, her research indicates that these positive remarks are usually more appreciated than the giver might anticipate.
Taking advice from experts, including Boothby and British comedian Milo McCabe, who is known for his spontaneous compliments to strangers, we can outline strategies for effectively delivering praise.
Complimenting Strangers: A Guide to Genuine Praise
When considering complimenting a stranger, the key is to keep it brief, sincere, and positive. Observing body language is crucial; it helps to gauge whether the person is receptive to interaction. McCabe, known for his humorous and thoughtful compliments, suggests focusing on something that stands out, like an interesting choice of clothing or a noticeable positive demeanor. By keeping the interaction short and sweet, one can leave a lasting positive impression without seeming overbearing.
The Art of Personalized Compliments Among Acquaintances
For those we know, compliments should be thoughtful and specific. Barbara Fredrickson, director of the Positive Emotions and Psychophysiology Laboratory at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill, advises going beyond general statements. Instead, share how someone’s actions make you feel or why you appreciate their efforts. Personalized praise not only acknowledges the act but also the individual’s unique qualities, which enhances the feeling of being valued.
Humor in Praise: Lightening the Mood
Incorporating humor into compliments can defuse any potential awkwardness and add lightness to daily routines. Acknowledging ordinary acts with a playful comment, as McCabe suggests, can turn mundane activities into moments of joy and appreciation.
Overcoming the Hesitation to Compliment
One of the barriers to giving compliments is self-doubt. Dr. Fredrickson emphasizes that if you think something positive about someone, you should consider expressing it. Doing so can provide a counterpoint to the often critical inner voice that many people experience.
In therapy and everyday life, the power of a compliment lies in its ability to uplift spirits, build connections, and counter negative self-talk. It is a simple yet powerful tool that can enhance the therapeutic journey, whether one is giving or receiving a compliment.
The Psychological Benefits of Compliments
From a therapeutic standpoint, the exchange of compliments can have several psychological benefits:
Enhancing Self-Esteem: Compliments can serve as positive reflections of ourselves, which can boost self-esteem and self-worth.
Reducing Loneliness: A kind word from another person can create a sense of connection and reduce feelings of isolation.
Strengthening Relationships: Giving and receiving praise can strengthen bonds between individuals, fostering trust and empathy.
Encouraging Positive Behaviors: Recognition of one’s efforts can motivate continued positive actions and reinforce beneficial habits.
The practice (and art) of offering compliments, as discussed in the New York Times article, aligns with the understanding that such gestures can have significant positive outcomes for both the giver and the receiver. By mastering the art of giving sincere, specific, and positive compliments, individuals can contribute to their own and others' emotional well-being, create moments of connection, and foster an environment where positive interactions are the norm.
The next time you notice something commendable about someone, whether they're a loved one or a stranger, consider sharing your positive thoughts. It might be more appreciated than you realize, and its impact could be more substantial than you can imagine.